Resolutions just don't work for me. Never have. Making a list of things I vow to do in the new year is a criminal waste of paper. I think there's something about the self-imposed pressure of living up to resolutions...I start to feel guilty if I slip and then I'm disappointed, and well, I'd just rather not be.
But there's something about the beginning of a new year. It's a fresh start. A blank slate. I just can't help but think of changes I'd like to make and goals I'd like to accomplish. Dammit anyway. So here's not so much a list, but a smattering of things that have been bouncing around in my head that I'd like to work on in this brand new 2011.
I want to be a better mother. A more patient mother. A mother who counts to 10 when she feels like yelling and who can look at things more logically and less emotionally when her kids fall short of her probably-too-high expectations. Ok. Her definitely-too-high expectations.
I want to make healthier choices. 2011 will mark my 40th birthday. *pause for letting the numbing shock of typing that statement to pass* And I'd like to be a much healthier specimen at 40 than I am currently at 39 and a half. I've always struggled with this issue, and I'm not expecting anything magical, certainly, but the saying is true that if you always do what you've always done, you'll always be what you've always been. I want to work on doing different things so that I can be a different person. And this ties back to being a better mother, too, because making these healthy choices will set a positive example for Team Nelson. Bonus.
I want to remember more. I've become a little batty in the belfry in my advancing age, and I forget important things on a very, very, very regular basis. It makes me nuts. I'm sure it makes Steve nuts. And I need to just put pen to paper and make lists of what I need to remember. And then I need to refer to those lists. And I need to remember that those lists exist and where I've put them. No, I'm not kidding. This will be a challenge.
I want to explore this beautiful state more. We've lived in Oregon for 2 and a half years now, and I feel like we haven't even scratched the surface. I want to discover new places and find new favorite camp sites and just take off on a Saturday here and there and drive until we end up somewhere we haven't been before.
I want to unpack that stinkin' garage. How badly do we need things in boxes that have been in boxes for 2 and a half years? I start to hyperventilate when I try to picture where we'll put all the things in those boxes, when our house is already full to capacity in the storage department. And so I've put it off. But I shouldn't anymore. If we truly don't need those things, then someone at Goodwill would probably appreciate them, and if nothing else, we DO need the garage space. Enough excuses, Gillian. Get to it.
I want to knit. 2010 was a bleak knitting year. I cranked out a few dishcloths before Christmas so I could give them as gifts (yes, there are people out there who appreciate a hand-knitted dishcloth. hush.), but that's it. Knitting is such a relaxing hobby for me, and I'm always amazed at what emerges when you sit and play with needles and yarn for a few hours. It's like magic. I missed that magic last year.
That's enough. I'm already starting to feel pressured, and it's only 10:15 AM on January 1st. But I shouldn't. After all, I'm not resolving anything.